


This Is Why We Don't Have Family Dinners

by Very_Anxious_Bean



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: "Juicy Butt Holes", ? - Freeform, Author Sucks At Everything and Apologises in Advance, Background Relationships, Background Sleep | Remy Sanders, Deceit Is Just Tired, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Disney Movies, Family Dinners, Gen, Hot Chocolate, Implied/Referenced Sexual Jokes, Implied/Referenced Stabbing, M/M, Married Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Minor fighting, Out of Character, Roman Is Done With Remus, Swearing, Talk of Jumping Out Moving Vehicles, Warning: Deceit Sanders, i have no impulse control, murder threats, this is random
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2020-05-19 19:05:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19362613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Very_Anxious_Bean/pseuds/Very_Anxious_Bean
Summary: Virgil and Roman have dinner with Deceit and Remus. They don't enjoy it.





	This Is Why We Don't Have Family Dinners

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't very long, so enjoy this I guess. Deceit's name in this is Eden. Read the tags as always, peeps :))

Virgil and Roman had to drag themselves to Eden’s house for the “family dinner” they had once a week. They were not looking forward to it.

“Are you sure we can’t just run for it?” Roman asked. He was not eager to see his twin.

Virgil huffed, “Trust me, I’d love to do that too but we can’t. Remy would kill me.”

Roman raised an eyebrow. “Why would they kill you?”

“Because-”

“Oh, they’re here!” A voice shouted. The door swung open, revealing Remus who was leaning against the door frame. “Hello boys~ Are you here for a fun time?”

Roman silently prayed for his death to come early. 

“Ooh, Virgil! Your but-”

“You better shut up before I kill you.” Virgil threatened, moving past Remus and dragging Roman in behind him. 

“And how would you do that? Oh, nails on a chalkboard!” Remus said, following them after closing the door. Roman and Virgil cringed. They went to the kitchen where Eden was cooking. Virgil grabbed a knife.

“Ah, how wonderful! Is that knife for killing your brother?” Remus asked. He grinned when Virgil pointed it at him.

“Remy’s my _sibling_ , get it right.” 

“Just like old times~”

Roman glared at his twin, wishing that looks could kill. 

“Could you guys _continue_?” Eden said, looking over his shoulder to give them _that_ look. 

Roman thanked whatever god there is that Remus actually listened to Eden. Remus instead stroked his mustache and randomly shouted out disturbing things. No, no one was going to be specific except for him. 

“Jesus Christ,” Virgil hissed. He was currently stirring the sauce, ignoring Remus when he said “As juicy as those juicy butt holes!” and glanced at Virgil’s ass. 

Roman hummed a quiet agreement, setting the table. “I’m pretty sure he has a thing for butts.”

“No shit, Sherlock.” 

Eden soon announced that the dinner was ready and set the food on the table. Virgil sat next to Roman, who was next to Remus, and Eden was next to Virgil. 

After a while, they all somehow fell into a conversation where Virgil was saying he would die because he said “you too” to a waiter and Remus wouldn’t stop shouting out sexual jokes and tasting deodorant out of nowhere.

Roman was actually able to feel bad for Eden; he used to deal with this all the time before Virgil and Remy moved out to live with Patton and Logan Sanders.

"- Even Roman would agree with me!" Virgil scowled at Remus. They had been fighting and Roman hadn't been paying attention, instead thinking about how he would rather not go on quests than live with his twin _and_ Virgil. Roman gave Virgil a questioning look.

"Jumping out of a plane without a parachute would be suicide!" Virgil said, simultaneously explaining what was going on (for Roman) and still fighting with Remus.

"Yes, it'd be a _once in a lifetime experience_ ," Remus said, "but- oh, how about Patton repeatedly stabbing himself? Or you-" he pointed his fork at Virgil- "repeatedly stabbing him?"

" _Continue_ it, the both of you." Eden said sternly. 

They quickly finished their dinner, Remus and Virgil occasionally fighting but thankfully nothing got physical ("In that _juicy butt hole_!"), and the two guests refused to stay for dessert. 

When they returned to their shared apartment, Roman elegantly face planted onto the couch and Virgil curled up in his room.

After an hour or two, Patton and Logan returned home from their dinner date. "Was dinner not good?" Patton asked.

Roman groaned. 

"I'd assume so," Logan said. "Where is Virgil?"

"In his room," Roman's voice was muffled by the pillow.

"I'll check in on him," Patton said and went to Virgil's room. He returned with Virgil, grinning and said that they should have a movie night.

They all agreed and the rest of the night was busy with watching Disney movies and drinking hot chocolate.


End file.
